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Month: November 2023
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Grow up. Maybe not?
It seems that now no one properly and does not know what an “adult” is and when a person becomes them. Among us there are many those who would dream to live life without taking it seriously.
“How and when I became an adult? I have no idea! Although I do not consider myself a child or infantile, ”writes philosopher Andre Count-Sponville. – But this transition occurred very gradually and imperceptibly. It was not an event, but a process, work, a long recovery. I never felt that my childhood was a happy time. To become an adult meant to finally choose happiness in contrast to childhood “.
Perhaps we want to part with childhood . But are we ready to be adults? Which of us (no matter how many years old we) do not sometimes cover the fear of not being able to cope, not be able to stand up for ourselves, the desire to hide under the blanket? Do adults turn into an endangered look, into a club, which are less and less like? Is it worth it to be surprised in our time, when seriousness and maturity are not valued too much?
The boundaries of life
Adulthood is, of course, the fact of a personal biography, an internal sensation that can come at any time. Public opinion is inclined to the fact that we become adults between 16 and 24 years.
“In general, for most of our fellow citizens, an adult condition lasts from 16 to 60 years,” explains sociologist Alexei Levinson. – These boundaries approximately coincide with the receipt of a certificate of maturity at the beginning and pension certificate (for women) – at the end “. True, 29% of young people aged 18 to 26 do not consider themselves adults, and in the next age group (26–35 years) there are also many of them – 10% 1 .
But there is another perception, less attached to passport age. “Now the youth has significantly suppressed adulthood, and up to 20 years, teenagers are considered children,” said the social psychologist Margarita Zhamkochyan. – Actively before our eyes, I would even say aggressively, due to adulthood, youth lengthens. Many predict the gradual disappearance of this concept at all: adults do not age, children do not grow ”.
Advertising tirelessly turns to young people, and it got to the point that young ones became the main reference group. Creative employees of advertising agencies living in the artificial world, which Frederick Begbeder described in the Bestseller “99 francs”, and Viktor Polevin in “Generation P”, is difficult to get used to the idea that the purchasing power is now the more, the more it goes on to the people of the olderage.
One of the three states of our “I”
Parent, adult, child – transactive analysis claims that these three are present in each of us. This is what the creator of this direction of psychotherapy Eric Bern says:
“The adult state of the“ I ”is essentially nothing more than a computer. This is a rational and logical part of the personality, engaged mainly by processing data, like a large electronic brain;There are no feelings and emotions to an adult relationship.
We see an adult when the scientist sets out the results of his colleagues or when the home hostess checks her bank account. An adult is the one who works. The mental process necessary for the carpenter to score a nail belongs to the leading of an adult.
But when he, having missed his finger, an adult gives way to another state of “I”. It is not always, however, it is best to be in the adult state of the “I”;At parties, it is in most cases painful “*.
Confusion in landmarks
Are we able to give an accurate definition of an adult ourselves? Until we grew up, he seems to us a sort of “man in the case” – a reasonable, but boring character that embodies rules, restrictions, bans.
So thinks, for example, Peppy Long-Holes from the children’s book Astrid Lindgren: “Adults are never really fun. Yes, and what are they doing: boring work or modes, but they only talk about corns and income taxes … And they also spoil their mood because of all sorts of nonsense. “
Or still, to be an adult, there are joy, its own harmony? “An adult is one who does not need parents,” said Hindu mystic Osho. – An adult – one who does not need to cling to anyone and rely on anyone. An adult is one who is happy with himself “.
And here is the definition of Andre Count-Sponville: “growing up means loyalty to childhood and at the same time a refusal of the desire to stay forever in childhood”.
This refusal is not easy for many of us. Before our eyes, the generally accepted boundaries between adolescents and “young adults” disappear, who continue to listen to the same music, wear the same jeans and sneakers. Children more and more often cannot afford to leave their parental home due to the high cost of housing or, having left, soon return to their native nest.
And many adults, meanwhile, continue to receive financial assistance from parents: after all, they study longer and later begin to work. Yes, and why rush, when, according to many, at 40, life is just beginning?
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Punto di vista
Stai cercando attivamente lavoro, ma ottieni rifiuti e non capisci perché. Ovviamente, perdere di vista qualcosa di importante, ma cosa esattamente? Il nostro autore è sicuro che la maggior parte tende a consentire uno dei sei errori comuni.
Hai sentito che nel tuo rapporto con il tuo partner qualcosa è disfunzionale, ma non puoi dire con certezza esattamente? I segni di disfunzione non sono sempre ovvi, a meno che, ovviamente, non stiamo parlando di tradimento o violenza fisica. Quando non
dovresti mantenere una relazione?
Come imparare a fare una scelta? Come supportarci, se ci sembra che le prove non finiscono ancora in alcun modo, ma le forze si esauriscono? Ne abbiamo parlato con il logoterapeuta e il creatore dell’analisi esistenziale di Alfried Langle.
Molte donne vogliono essere ideali per i loro uomini, ma spesso, senza sospettarli, li opprimono non abbastanza corretti e li fanno dubitare della loro dignità nella loro dignità. Lo dice uno psicologo praticante
Pensiamo che le persone ci amino in contrasto con le nostre debolezze e carenze. Certamente – non per loro. Tuttavia, in realtà, alcune caratteristiche che noi stessi percepiamo come “difetti” possono avere più di altre di quanto ci aspettassimo. Spieghiamo perché pettegolezzi, oratori e sciocchezze causano tale fiducia.
In estate voglio avere tutto e allo stesso tempo sentire il meglio possibile. Cosa ci aiuterà? Abbiamo posto questa domanda agli specialisti. Ecco le loro risposte.
Perché hai bisogno di … soldi? Sarebbe abbastanza strano volere soldi in quanto tale – per i sogni di un certo importo c’è sempre qualcosa di più: la necessità di stabilità, libertà, felicità. Solo chiarendo le nostre aspettative, possiamo “stabilire” le relazioni con il denaro.
L’origine della parola “ipocrisia” è ovvia – da “prova sulla larva”. Masquerade, intrattenimento eccellente per carnevale quando puoi mostrarti da un nuovo lato e interessare qualcuno. Ecco solo alcune persone che flirtano e i loro “costumi in maschera” non solo ingannano gli altri, ma causano anche un vero dolore. Come riconoscerli? E come capire che c’è ipocrisia?
Ho bisogno di una coppia per trascorrere una vacanza insieme? O rilassati separatamente l’uno dall’altro – abbastanza normale per i partner? Quando è utile e quando segnala che qualcosa non va in coppia?
